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| God won't you deliver me
from my pain and my confusion.... | | |
| So yeah....
I am extremely shitty with myself and diet pepsi. Long story short, I spilled diet pepsi all over my laptop and now its fried. MOTHERFUCKER!!!!!!!! grrrrrrrr oh well. I will live, hopefully.
Options of living- Sam, single, roommate....I really want to live alone, but I dnt know how that would work with a job and all. Eh, only time will tell. I feel so different from my friends. Ya'll have some track as to what you want your life to be and here I am still acting like I'm in fucking high school. Grrrr I guess I just need some direction. Elementary thru high school was easy. I had one goal and that was to graduate...College was a completely different story! I feel so lost and confuzzled and just lost. I really have no clue what I want to do with my life. I need help!
I love to be pampered. LOVE IT. But that isnt gonna help me in the long run. Sam is talking marriage or engagment and I dnt know how I feel bout that. I am just have so many mixed emotions bout everything. And then my nephew Connor has had two more surgeries on his stomach and its all cuz of a spider bite. So, so so sad. Then this Saturday I have Brian and Jamie's wedding and then the Saturday after that I have Leah's wedding. And on top of that I am hoping to get this job with Walmart. I just...I dunno anymore. Sometimes I just wanna run away. Far, far, far away. I wanna go to Oz or Maryland.
I want peace of mind. | | |
| I am kinda shitty. The apartment I should be moving into is now probably not availabe. And the roommate I thought I had is a complete asshole. Needless to say he didn't give me all the information and is looking elsewhere without letting me know. Anyone wanna get a place together?? I was so mad last night I was shaking as I was typing. Anyway....
I met Sam's parents yesterday. He is direct knock off of his mother in looks. Watching him and his father is absolutely hilarious. Sam make act all big and tough, but when he's with his father, he's a little boy trying to act big. His dad OWNZ him. OWNZ!!!!!!!! It was hilarious.
I am dead tired today, I need a pick me up. I am talking to my buddy Grant in Australia, he's a chef and really cute. He has the geek look going for him. I love it. OHHHH I got a new dress, its really cute and sexy. I may have to take a pic and upload it. Really really really cute. hehee
I am done. Later. | | |
| So, its been over six months since I last updated. No one obviously missed me on here. Eh, oh well. Then again, not many people know bout me here. Isn't that exciting?
Well, lets start this off right. I dnt think I love Sam anymore. Things have just been different with us lately, and all the secrecy has really taken an affect on me. I just, I'm a survivor or so I have been told, and this bullshit has gotten to me. So, yeah. But in the lsat week he's done a complete 360 and has been a better bf than ever, I just dnt know if I can trust him. I hate that cuz I do love him. I really do.
On another note, I'm a loser. Just thought everyone should know. Otay...have a good day. | | |
| GOOD MORNING ALL!!!! I know very few people read this but I thought I WOULD SAY HI!!!! Anyway....yeah....just an update about nothing. I think I have given up on finding a guy....just gonna focus on gettin my life in order...I mean will still have fun with guys, but just be like bah...hahahha Lauren is coming home next week. and only 23 more days till christmas! hOlla | | |
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